The Ultimate List of Terrible Jokes You Can’t Stop Laughing At

If you’re in the mood for some harmless laughter, you’ve come to the right place. Terrible Jokes have a special way of making us giggle, even when we know they’re cringe-worthy. These jokes are so bad that they somehow become unforgettable. Whether you love them or hate them, you just can’t help but laugh.

In this ultimate list, you’ll find the funniest Terrible Jokes that are perfect for sharing with friends and family. From silly one-liners to awkward punchlines, there’s something for everyone. Get ready to roll your eyes and laugh out loud. These Terrible Jokes are guaranteed to brighten your day, no matter how cheesy they are.

Best Terrible Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Funny

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
• I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
• I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
• Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

Terrible Jokes for Kids (Clean & Funny)

• What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
• Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.
• What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
• Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
• Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
• What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
• Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
• Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
• What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
• What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom.
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
• What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

Terrible Jokes for Adults (NSFW)

• I’m not saying my wife is cold, but when she opens her mouth, the light in the fridge comes on.
• My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
• I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.
• Marriage is like a deck of cards. It starts with hearts and diamonds, ends with clubs and spades.
• I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said “Nothing would make me happier than a divorce.” So I gave her nothing.
• My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don’t have a Ferrari.
• I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk—we go to parties.
• My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
• I like my women like I like my coffee—I don’t drink coffee.
• The problem with kleptomaniacs is they always take things literally.
• My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
• I’m not saying I hate my job, but if my building was on fire, I’d walk.
• My doctor told me I’m going deaf. That was hard to hear.
• I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side.
• My wife asked me to sync her phone. So I threw it in the ocean.
• I told my boss three companies were after me, so I needed a raise. He asked which ones. I said gas, electric, and water.
• My credit card company calls me every day. We have such a lovely relationship—they ask for money, I say no.
• I’m not addicted to brake fluid. I can stop whenever I want.
• My wife said I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.
• I’m not passive-aggressive. Whatever. It’s fine. Do what you want.

Read More Warning: These Bad Puns May Cause Uncontrollable Groans

Terrible Jokes to Tell at Parties

• What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
• Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
• What’s the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
• I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.
• Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
• Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
• I entered ten puns in a contest hoping one would win. No pun in ten did.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
• Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
• What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
• Why don’t calendars ever win races? Their days are numbered.
• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
• Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
• What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
• Why don’t lobsters share? They’re too shellfish.
• What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
• Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
• What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
• Why don’t ants get sick? They have little anty-bodies.

Terrible Jokes to Make Someone Smile

• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
• What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
• Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
• What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
• Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert? They’re always stuffed.
• What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
• Why did the balloon go to school? To get a little air-educated.
• What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell.
• Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a watermelon.
• What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
• Why did the kid throw butter out the window? To see a butterfly.
• What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor.
• Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
• What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
• Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict.
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
• Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter.
• What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
• Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It tocked too much.

Short Terrible Jokes (Under 10 Words)

• Parallel lines have so much in common. Shame they’ll never meet.
• Rest in peace, boiling water. You will be mist.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.
• I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know Y.
• I stayed up all night wondering where sun went. Then it dawned.
• I couldn’t figure out how lightning works. Then it struck.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• I’m reading about kidnapping. Don’t worry, he woke up.
• Velcro: what a rip-off!
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit.
• PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
• I’m no photographer, but I have flash.
• Sleeping comes naturally. I could do it with eyes closed.
• I’d tell a chemistry joke but I wouldn’t get reaction.
• Claustrophobic people are more productive. They think outside box.
• I’d tell a UDP joke but you might not get it.
• Energizer Bunny arrested: charged with battery.
• The rotation of Earth really makes my day.

One-Liner Terrible Jokes

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
• I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
• I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
• I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
• I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
• I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
• I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• I’m writing a book about hurricanes. It’s only a draft.
• I couldn’t figure out how lightning works. Then it struck me.
• I used to be a shoe salesman, but they gave me the boot.
• I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are hard to find.
• I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking days off.
• I was going to look for my missing watch, but I didn’t have the time.

Terrible Dad Jokes That Are Actually Hilarious

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
• Why can’t a bicycle stand on its own? It’s two tired.
• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
• What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
• What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison.

Terrible Knock Knock Jokes

• Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow w— MOOOO!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it’s pointless.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, YOU’RE a poo!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a nice place you got here!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie thing you can do, I can do better!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open the door!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, cow says moo!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you, hand over the cash!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? A mosquito bit me!
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you again!

Terrible Puns That Will Make You Groan

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two tired.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• The rotation of earth really makes my day.
• I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
• Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro is such a rip-off.
• The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
• A boiled egg is hard to beat.
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
• Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
• What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Terrible Jokes About School

• Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
• Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
• What’s a math teacher’s favorite season? Sum-mer.
• Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
• What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire? Lots of blood tests.
• Why didn’t the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.
• What’s a snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-tory.
• Why was the geometry book always unhappy? Because it had too many problems to solve.
• What did the pencil say to the paper? Write on!
• Why did the student bring a ladder to school? To go to high school.
• What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
• Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
• What’s the king of all school supplies? The ruler.
• Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher? There was no chemistry.
• What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
• Why was the broom late for school? It over-swept.
• What did the calculator say to the student? You can count on me.
• Why did the computer go to school? To improve its website.
• What’s a librarian’s favorite vegetable? Quiet peas.
• Why did the kid study in the airplane? He wanted a higher education.

Terrible Jokes About Work

• Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
• Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged at work.
• What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
• Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field.
• Why don’t construction workers ever get bored? They’re always working on something.
• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
• Why was the accountant always calm? She knew how to balance things.
• Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide.
• What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
• Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
• Why did the marketer break up with the sales rep? There was no conversion.
• What’s a businessman’s favorite type of shoes? Loafers.
• Why did the employee bring a ladder to the office? She heard the job had its ups and downs.
• What do you call a meeting that could have been an email? Most meetings.
• Why don’t bosses ever play hide and seek? Good luck finding them when you need them.
• What did the office printer say to the employee? Stop giving me paper cuts!
• Why was the employee staring at the juice container at work? It said “concentrate.”
• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
• Why did the worker quit the job at the orange juice factory? Couldn’t concentrate.

Terrible Jokes About Animals

• Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
• Why don’t ants get sick? They have little anty-bodies.
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• Why did the spider go to college? To become a web developer.
• What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
• Why don’t crabs give to charity? They’re too shellfish.
• What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
• Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? It was well armed.
• What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
• Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
• What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon.
• Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
• Why don’t penguins fly? They’re not tall enough to be pilots.
• What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
• Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
• Why don’t sharks eat clownfish? They taste funny.
• What do you call a wolf who gets lost? A where-wolf.
• Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change his jockeys.
• What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
• Why don’t lobsters share? Because they’re shellfish.
• What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
• Why did the frog take the bus? His car got toad away.
• What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.

Terrible Jokes About Food

• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
• Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
• What’s a potato’s favorite TV show? Starch Trek.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
• What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
• Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
• What’s the best thing to put in a pie? Your teeth.
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
• Why don’t melons get married? They cantaloupe.
• What’s a grape’s favorite movie? The Raisin in the Sun.
• Why did the bread break up with the butter? It found someone butter.
• What do you call an angry pea? Grump-pea.
• Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
• What’s a pickle’s favorite game? Dill or No Dill.
• Why don’t lemons ever win arguments? They’re too bitter.
• What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZa.
• Why did the lettuce win the race? Because it was ahead.
• What’s a donut’s least favorite day? Fry-day.
• Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice.
• What do you call a frozen cheese? Brrrr-ie.
• Why don’t pancakes ever win at poker? They always fold.
• What’s a sandwich’s favorite dance? The club sandwich.
• Why did the milk go to school? To get pasteurized.
• What do you call a nut in space? An astro-nut.
• Why don’t waffles ever start fights? They don’t want to batter anyone.
• What’s corn’s favorite music? Pop.

Frequently Asked Questions 

What are some really terrible jokes?

Terrible jokes are the ones that make you groan and laugh at the same time. Think of super simple one-liners or puns that are so bad they’re funny.

Why do terrible jokes make people laugh?

Because they’re unexpected and silly. The shock of a bad punchline can be funny, especially when it’s so obvious or ridiculous.

Can you tell me a terrible joke right now?

Sure! Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

Are terrible jokes the same as dad jokes?

Not exactly, but they’re similar. Dad jokes are usually clean and cheesy, while terrible jokes can be extra silly or even a bit weird.

What are the best terrible jokes for kids?

Kid-friendly terrible jokes are usually about animals, school, or food. They’re simple, harmless, and easy to remember.

Where can I find the funniest terrible jokes online?

You can find them on joke websites, social media pages, and comedy forums. Just search “terrible jokes” or “bad jokes that are funny.”

Are terrible jokes bad for humor?

Not at all. Terrible jokes are meant to be silly and fun. They’re a great way to make people laugh without being serious.

What’s a good terrible joke to tell at a party?

Try this one: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

How do I create my own terrible jokes?

Start with a simple idea, like an object or animal, then add a silly twist or pun. The worse it sounds, the funnier it becomes.

Are terrible jokes popular on TikTok?

Yes! Many creators use terrible jokes in short videos because they’re quick, funny, and easy to share.

Final Thoughts

Terrible Jokes are the perfect way to break the ice and lighten the mood when things feel too serious. Even though they’re bad, they have a unique charm that makes everyone laugh. The more ridiculous the punchline, the harder the laugh becomes. So next time you need a quick smile, reach for these Terrible Jokes.

At the end of the day, Terrible Jokes prove that humor doesn’t always need to be clever to be effective. These jokes are simple, silly, and sometimes shockingly funny. Share them with friends, family, or anyone who needs a laugh. If you love goofy humor, this list of Terrible Jokes will never disappoint.