245+ Horrible Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Actually Funny

Get ready to laugh, groan, and question your sense of humor with this outrageous collection of Horrible Jokes that are so bad they loop right back to funny. These jokes don’t try to be clever, and that’s exactly the point. Every punchline lands awkwardly, every setup feels wrong, yet you can’t stop smiling. If you love humor that hurts a little, these Horrible Jokes are made for you.

This list is packed with painfully silly lines that work only because they shouldn’t. From eye-rolling wordplay to jokes that deserve a dramatic sigh, the fun is in how awful they are. Reading Horrible Jokes with friends makes them even better, because shared suffering builds bonds. So take a deep breath and dive in—these Horrible Jokes are about to ruin your mood in the best way possible. 

Horrible Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Actually Funny

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including excuses for being late.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. I’m not sorry.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field, which is more than I can say for my career.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. Yes, I said it.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, unlike this conversation.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
• What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
• I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
• Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

Painfully Horrible Jokes You’ll Regret Laughing At

• Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
• What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt.
• Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crumbly.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
• I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
• What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
• I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
• What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
• Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
• What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
• I’m terrified of elevators. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Horrible Jokes That Make Everyone Groan

• What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
• Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
• What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
• I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
• Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent.
• What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO.
• Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
• I told a joke about a roof. It went over everyone’s head.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore? They make up literally everything.
• What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
• Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
• What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
• I used to be addicted to soap. I’m clean now.
• What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
• Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
• What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
• Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like stakes.

Read More For More Laugh Warning: These Bad Puns May Cause Uncontrollable Groans

Cringe-Level Horrible Jokes You Can’t Unhear

• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts.
• What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish. (Say it out loud.)
• I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I wouldn’t get a reaction.
• What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time. (Yes, again.)
• Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad away.
• What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
• I tried to write a joke about garbage. It was trash.
• What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
• Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a watermelon.
• What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
• I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.
• Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest.
• What do you call a sad coffee? A depresso.
• I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
• What do you call a snake that’s exactly 3.14 feet long? A π-thon.
• Why did the yogurt go to the museum? Because it was cultured.
• What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
• I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

Horrible Jokes That Should Come With a Warning

• What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
• Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
• What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
• I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
• What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
• Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
• What do you call a careful wolf? Aware wolf.
• I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
• What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador. (Worth repeating.)
• Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out.
• What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom.
• I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t put it down.
• What do you call a broken pencil? Pointless.
• Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
• What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper.
• I wanted to be a historian, but there’s no future in it.
• What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.
• Why did the coffee go to therapy? It had too many mugs to fill.
• What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost.
• I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

Unbelievably Horrible Jokes That Still Hit

• What do you call a questionable ghost? A very sus-picious spirit.
• Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
• What do you call a religious insect? A mosque-ito.
• I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
• What do you call a parade of bunnies walking backward? A receding hare-line. (Still good the second time.)
• Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It tocked too much.
• What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison.
• I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
• What do you call a bee from America? A USB.
• Why did the oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
• What do you call a really small Valentine? A valen-tiny.
• I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
• What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.
• Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
• What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
• Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
• What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
• Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.

Really Horrible Jokes That Will Make You Cringe

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything… including this terrible joke.
• What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. (I’m not even sorry.)
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field. (Please don’t applaud.)
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
• Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
• What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
• I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
• I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

Horrible Jokes Everyone Pretends to Hate

• What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
• Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
• I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
• What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
• What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
• I’d tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
• Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
• What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
• I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Funny but Horrible Jokes You Can’t Stop Reading

• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
• I once told a joke about a broken pencil, but it was pointless.
• What do you call a religious insect? A mosque-ito.
• Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired. (Yes, again. It’s that bad.)
• What do you call a magical dog? A labracadabrador.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
• Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
• What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
• I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
• What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
• Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish too.
• What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
• What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer.
• Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.
• What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
• I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
• What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
• Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumbly.

Best Horrible Jokes on the Internet

• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
• What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A king fish.
• I tried to write a joke about a broken clock, but the timing was off.
• What do you call a alligator in a vest? An investigator.
• Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
• What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZa.
• I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
• What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
• Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
• What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
• I told a joke about unemployment, but it needs work.
• What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
• Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool.
• What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
• I tried to organize a professional hide-and-seek tournament, but it was hard to find good players.
• What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
• Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
• What do you call a Spanish-speaking fish? A señor-dine.
• I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it clicked.

Horrible Jokes That Cross the Line (But in a Funny Way)

• What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One’s really heavy, the other’s a little lighter.
• I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.
• What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off.
• I have a great joke about nepotism, but I’ll only tell it to my kids.
• Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.
• What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
• I have a joke about procrastination, but I’ll tell you later.
• What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile.
• I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
• Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
• What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don’t like The Flintstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do.
• I have a great joke about inflation, but it’s gotten too expensive to tell.
• What do you call a psychic little person who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
• Why was the broom late? It over-swept.
• What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
• I have a joke about death, but it’s a killer.
• What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.
• Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they’d all say “Bach, bach, bach!”
• What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
• I have a joke about communism, but it only works if everyone gets it.

Dad-Approved Horrible Jokes That Hurt Your Soul

• Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.
• Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one. (Yes, we already did this. That’s how dad jokes work.)
• Dad: “I’m tired.” Kid: “Hi Tired, I’m—” Dad: “Don’t you dare.”
• What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A pop-sicle.
• Why did the dad sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time.
• How do you organize a space party? You planet. (Every dad has told this one.)
• What did the dad say when his son brought home straight A’s? “Why aren’t they crooked like everyone else’s?”
• Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
• What do you call a dad joke that isn’t actually a joke? A faux pa.
• Why do dads always wear socks with sandals? To protect their dad-toes.
• Dad at store: “Can I pay with exposure?” Cashier: “No.” Dad: “Well, it was worth a shot.”
• What’s a dad’s favorite type of music? Pop music.
• Why don’t dads ever win at hide and seek? Because good dads are always spotted.
• What do you call a dad who’s fallen on hard times? Financially imbreadwinner.
• Why did the dad cross the road? To get to the DAD JOKE store!
• What do you call a dad at a baseball game? A foul ball.
• Why do dads love telling bad jokes? Because it’s their way of punishing you for being born.
• What’s a dad’s favorite exercise? The dad bod squat (which is just sitting down).
• Why did the dad joke cross the road? To get to the punchline you saw coming a mile away.
• What do you call a dad who tells 120 jokes in one sitting? Someone who desperately needs a hobby.

Frequently Asked Questions 

Why do people laugh at horrible jokes?

People laugh at horrible jokes because the awkwardness and bad timing make them unexpectedly funny. The cringe itself becomes part of the humor.

What makes a joke “horrible” but still funny?

A joke is considered horrible when the punchline is weak, predictable, or silly, yet it still makes people laugh because it’s so bad.

Are horrible jokes the same as dad jokes?

Horrible jokes and dad jokes are similar, but horrible jokes are often more exaggerated and intentionally terrible.

Why do horrible jokes work so well in groups?

Horrible jokes create shared embarrassment, which brings people together and makes everyone laugh at the same time.

Can horrible jokes actually improve mood?

Yes, horrible jokes can instantly lighten the mood by triggering laughter and reducing stress through simple humor.

Where can I find the best horrible jokes online?

You can find horrible jokes on humor blogs, joke websites, social media pages, and dedicated comedy forums.

Why do horrible jokes make people groan?

Horrible jokes cause groans because the punchline is obvious or silly, yet still amusing enough to get a reaction.

Are horrible jokes suitable for all ages?

Most horrible jokes are clean and family-friendly, making them suitable for both kids and adults

Why do horrible jokes become memorable?

Horrible jokes stand out because their badness makes them easy to remember and fun to repeat

Do comedians intentionally tell horrible jokes?

Yes, many comedians use horrible jokes on purpose to create awkward humor and surprise laughter.

Final Thoughts

Horrible Jokes have a special kind of magic—they make you laugh even when you don’t want to. The worse they get, the more memorable they become, turning awkward pauses into shared smiles. That’s the charm of Horrible Jokes: they don’t try too hard, yet they always hit. Sometimes, the simplest and silliest punchlines are the ones that stick with us the longest.

At the end of the day, Horrible Jokes remind us not to take humor too seriously. They’re perfect for breaking the ice, annoying your friends, or just enjoying a guilt-free laugh. Whether you love groaning or giggling, Horrible Jokes always deliver their own weird fun. So embrace the cringe, because Horrible Jokes prove that bad humor can still be amazingly good.