305+ These Really Bad Jokes Should Be Illegal (But You’ll Laugh Anyway)

When you hear the words Really Bad Jokes, you might expect silence, groans, or even a dramatic eye-roll. But the truth is, these jokes have a strange power—they’re so awful that they become unexpectedly funny. Whether it’s a cheesy pun or a painfully obvious punchline, Really Bad Jokes always manage to catch you off guard. And once you start laughing, it’s hard to stop.

These Really Bad Jokes are the kind that should probably be illegal, because they’re dangerously cringe-worthy. Yet somehow, they still bring people together in the most hilarious way. You might pretend to hate them, but deep down you’re enjoying every awkward moment. So get ready for a wild ride of Really Bad Jokes that are so bad, they’re actually entertaining.

Table of Contents

Really Bad Dad Jokes

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! ⚛️
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 🍝
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field! 🌾
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! 🥚
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 🐻
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired! 🚲
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! 💀
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated! 🐟
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! ☕
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener! 🥫
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick! 🪃
Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems! 📚
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks! 🦖
Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something! 🪜
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time! ⌚
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing! 🍅
What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador! 🐕

Stupid Bad Dad Knock Knock Jokes

Knock knock! Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow w— MOOOOO! 🐄
Knock knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? 🍊
Knock knock! Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke! 👻
Knock knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome! 🙏
Knock knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here! 🥬
Knock knock! Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke! 🍽️
Knock knock! Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you! 🤧
Knock knock! Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help getting in! 🪡
Knock knock! Who’s there? I am. I am who? You don’t know who you are?! 🤔
Knock knock! Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, YOU’RE a poo! 💩
Knock knock! Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, cow says MOOOO! 🐮
Knock knock! Who’s there? Says. Says who? Says me! 😤
Knock knock! Who’s there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, that’s why I knocked! 🔔
Knock knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open the door! 🏃
Knock knock! Who’s there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it’s pointless! ✏️
Knock knock! Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O! 🔤
Knock knock! Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer peanuts! 🥜
Knock knock! Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a spider! 🍦
Knock knock! Who’s there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yes, they do! 🦉
Knock knock! Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke? 👞

Dumb, Terrible Dad Jokes

What’s brown and sticky? A stick! 🌳
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line! 🐰
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans! 🐔
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved! 🌊
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly! 🍪
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop! 🐷
Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-ibodies! 🐜
What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory! 🏭
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left! 🏟️
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore! 🦕
Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe! 🍈
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 🥩
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed! 🖼️
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea! 🦌
Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? They’ll just wash up on shore! 🏴‍☠️
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea! 😵
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it! 👤
What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe!

Continue Reading Warning: These Bad Puns May Cause Uncontrollable Groans

Cheesy, Corny Dad Jokes

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me! 🧔
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down! 📖
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised! 😲
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space! 🚀
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y! 🔤
What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty! 🦷
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me! ⚾
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands! 🎹
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine! 🍇
I don’t trust trees. They’re shady! 🌲
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time! ⏰
How do you organize a space party? You planet! 🪐
Why did the yogurt go to the art museum? Because it was cultured! 🎨
What does a baby computer call its father? Data! 💾
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs! 🐝
What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper! 🍌
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! 🐧
What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner! 🧱
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up literally everything! 🔬
What do you call a alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊

Really Bad Jokes That Are So Awful They’re Hilarious

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired from trying! 🚴
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse! 🐴
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi! 🍄
What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeño business! 🌶️
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus! 💻
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi! ✌️
Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦀
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain! 😺
Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? He was outstanding in his field! 🎤
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry! 🍓
Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating? They have no body to go with! 🎃
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle! 🐶
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice! 🍊
What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker! 🦆
Why did the cookie cry? Because its mother was a wafer so long! 😢
What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car? A red carnation! 🚗
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well! 🍌
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! 🐇
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems to solve! ➗
What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZZa! 🍕

Painfully Bad Jokes You’ll Regret Laughing At

What do you call a broken can opener? A can’t opener! (Yes, again!) 😅
Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets? They might crack up! 🤫
What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom! 🙊
Why did the calendar look so popular? It had a lot of dates! 📅
What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh! 🐠
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! 🧻
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law! ⚖️
Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad! 🐸
What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear! 🌧️
Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants! 👖
What do you call a sunburned librarian? Well red! 📕
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam! 🚦
What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King cod! 👑
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? In case she needed to draw blood! 🖊️
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! 🧊
What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell! 🎵
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake! 🎂
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus! 📖
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! (Worth repeating!) 🏌️

Really Bad Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Groan

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! 🔬
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 🍝
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field! 🌾
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 🐻
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! 🥚
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired! 🚲
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated! 🐟
Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems! 📚
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time! ⌚
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! 💀
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 🐄
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! ☕
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop! 🐷
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks! 🦖
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄
Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something! 🪜
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener! 🥫

So Bad They’re Good: Really Bad Jokes Collection

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick! 🪃
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumbly! 🍪
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘
Why don’t calendars ever win races? Their days are numbered! 📅
What do you call a shoe made of a banana? A slipper! 🍌
Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left! 🏟️
What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZa! 🍕
Why don’t mountains ever get cold? They wear snow caps! ⛰️
What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra! 🐋
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus! 💻
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer! 🦌
Why don’t pencils ever go on vacation? They’re afraid of getting the point! ✏️
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! 🐰
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well! 🍌
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore! 🦕
Why don’t traffic lights ever go to parties? They always change! 🚦
What do you call a duck that gets good grades? A wise quacker! 🦆
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed! 🖼️
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe! 🐝

Cringe-Worthy Really Bad Jokes Everyone Hates

Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating? They have no body to go with! 💀
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train! 🚂
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? She heard drinks were on the house! 🍺
What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory! 🏭
Why don’t bakers ever tell secrets? They’re afraid they’ll leak! 🥖
What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus! 📖
Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice! 🍊
What do you call a fly without wings? A walk! 🪰
Why don’t lobsters share? They’re shellfish! 🦞
What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 🐴
Why did the chicken join a band? It had the drumsticks! 🍗
What do you call a tree that fits in your hand? A palm tree! 🌴
Why don’t eggs like jokes? They crack up too easily! 🥚
What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell! 💻
Why did the rope go to school? To get a little tighter! 🪢
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew! 🐱
Why don’t elevators ever tell jokes? They’re not on that level! 🛗
What do you call a sleeping bag? A napsack! 🎒
Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was a fungi! 🍄
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A sham rock! 🍀

Really Bad Jokes That Cross the Line Into Funny

Why don’t ants ever get sick? They have little anty-bodies! 🐜
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi! 🌼
Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn’t see himself doing it! 👻
What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King of the sea! 👑
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind! 🧟
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare-line! 🐇
Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up pants! 👖
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud! ☁️
Why don’t vampires have friends? They’re a pain in the neck! 🧛
What do you call a magician who loses their magic? Ian! 🎩
Why did the wheel stop working? It was just too tired! 🎡
What do you call a sunburned librarian? Well red! 📚
Why don’t clocks ever go to therapy? They just need time! ⏰
What do you call a religious insect? A mosque-ito! 🦟
Why did the envelope go to the gym? To get ripped! 💌
What do you call a psychic little person who escaped from jail? A small medium at large! 🔮
Why don’t flowers ever drive? They always get into a jam! 🌺
What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past! 💨
Why did the moon stop eating? It was full! 🌕
What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake! 🥛

Classic Really Bad Jokes With Terrible Punchlines

Why don’t scissors ever win races? They always get cut off! ✂️
What do you call a religious bug? A mosque-quito! 🦟
Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side! 🐔
What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear! 🐻
Why don’t books ever go to the gym? They’ve got enough spine! 📕
What do you call a grumpy cow? Moody! 🐮
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a watermelon! 🍉
What do you call a sleeping werewolf? An unaware-wolf! 🐺
Why don’t oceans ever say hello? They just wave! 🌊
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain! 😺
Why did the lettuce win the race? It was a head! 🥬
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare! 🎭
Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits! 👻
What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso! ☕
Why did the lamp go to school? To get brighter! 💡
What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A baboom! 🐵
Why don’t calendars go to parties? Their days are numbered! 📆
What do you call a Spanish sheep? Oveja! 🐑
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! 🛝
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto! 👞

Dad-Level Really Bad Jokes That Hurt to Hear

Why don’t maps ever get lost? They always know where they stand! 🗺️
What do you call a alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊
Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake! 🍰
What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending! 🪜
Why don’t pants ever win arguments? They always get belted! 👖
What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀
Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field! 🧠
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 😴
Why don’t rivers ever get lost? They follow the current! 🏞️
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hareline! 🐰
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left! 🏈
What do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus! 🦖
Why don’t clouds ever fight? They prefer to mist! ☁️
What do you call a broken can opener? A can’t opener! 🔧
Why did the computer keep sneezing? It had a virus! 🤧
What do you call a cow that plays guitar? A moo-sician! 🎸
Why don’t elevators ever get stressed? They know how to let things slide! 🛗
What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh! 🐠
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long! 🍪
What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper! 👟

Really Bad Jokes That Will Test Your Sense of Humor

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! 🔬😤
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 🍝😑
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field! 🌾🤦
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 🐻🦷
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! 🥚💀
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂😴
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired! 🚲😩
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀🙄
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot! 👃📏
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated! 🐟🎀
Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems! 📚😢
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener! 🥫😒
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! 💀🫥
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks! 🦖🚗
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumbly! 🍪🤒
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time! ⌚😬
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪💸
What do you call a snowman in summer? A puddle! ☃️💧
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing! 🍅👗
What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian! 🪄😐

Embarrassingly Really Bad Jokes People Still Tell

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! 🥕🦜
Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something! 🪜🤨
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line! 🐰👴
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳👖
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 🐄🍔
Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny antibodies! 🐜💊
What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory! 🏭😶
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! ☕👮
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore! 🦕😴
Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe! 🍈💍
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! 🐕✨
Why did the stadium get hot? All the fans left! 🏟️🥵
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick! 🪃🤷
Why don’t programmers like nature? Too many bugs! 💻🐛
What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZa! 🍕😴
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed! 🖼️⚖️
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop! 🐷🥋
Why don’t calendars ever win races? Their days are numbered! 📅🏃
What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear! 🐻🌧️
Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn’t see himself doing it! 👻💼

Really Bad Jokes That Ruin the Mood—in a Good Way

What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish! 🐟🦵
Why don’t ghosts lie? You can see right through them! 👻😏
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔
Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side! 🐔🕯️
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare! 🎯📜
Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like stakes! 🧛🥩
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain! 🐱⛰️
Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was a fungi! 🍄🎉
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry! 🍓😭
Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse! 🐘🖱️
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle! 🐕🧊
Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest! 💰😑
What do you call a alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊🕵️
Why don’t mountains ever get cold? They wear snow caps! 🏔️🧢
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha! 🏍️😂
Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up pants! 👖🚔
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud! ☁️🐑
Why don’t bakers tell secrets? They might let things rise! 🥖🤫
What do you call a religious insect? A mosque-ito! 🦟🕌
Why did the ocean break up with the pond? Too shallow! 🌊💔

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some really bad jokes?”

Really bad jokes are short, silly, and often groan-worthy. Think puns like “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

“Can you tell me a really bad joke?”

Sure! Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 😄

“Why are bad jokes so funny?”

Bad jokes are funny because they’re unexpected and silly. The awkwardness makes people laugh even more!

“What’s the worst joke ever?”

Many people say the worst jokes are those with obvious punchlines. Like: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.”

“Give me some really bad jokes for kids.”

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!

“What are really bad dad jokes?”

Dad jokes are purposely cheesy and cringe. Example: “I would tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.”

“Are really bad jokes good for mood?”

Yes! Bad jokes can boost your mood because they make you laugh, even if you don’t want to.

“How do I tell a bad joke?”

Keep it simple, use a silly pun, and say it confidently. The more awkward it is, the funnier it becomes!

“Can bad jokes be used in speeches?”

Yes! Bad jokes can break the ice and make people relaxed. Just keep them short and clean.

“What’s a really bad joke for a party?”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

It’s cheesy, but it always gets a reaction.

Final Thoughts

These Really Bad Jokes might be the kind that make you cringe, but they’re also the ones you can’t help laughing at. Even when they’re painfully silly, there’s something oddly satisfying about a joke that’s so bad, it’s good. If you’re looking for a quick mood boost, these Really Bad Jokes are the perfect cure for a boring day. They remind us that humor doesn’t always have to be smart—it just has to be funny.

At the end of the day, these Really Bad Jokes prove that laughter doesn’t need to be complicated. Sometimes, the simplest and dumbest punchlines bring the biggest smiles. So go ahead, share these Really Bad Jokes with your friends and watch the groans turn into laughter. After all, a little silly humor is exactly what the world needs right now.

Henry

Henry is a witty wordsmith with over 4 years of experience crafting clever puns and humor blogs. Known for his sharp wit and love for playful language, he’s been tickling funny bones across the internet long before joining CrazyEPuns.com.
Now a proud part of the CrazyEPuns team, Henry continues to turn everyday moments into laugh-out-loud wordplay, spreading smiles one pun at a time. When he’s not brainstorming the next viral joke, you’ll find him sipping coffee and chuckling at his own punchlines — because a good pun is worth repeating!